Tuesday, September 10, 2019

WINE ACCHI HOTI HAIN, JITNI HO WOH BOTTLE PURAANI; BAHUT DINO BAAD TUMHARI TASVEER DEKHI, TOH LAAGTI HO JAISI KOI SALTANAT KI KHUBSOORAT RANI !!!

"Naajaane kyon tuti 
thi hamaare pyar ka 
yeh khubsoorat BANDHAN; 
dono hee dono se door chalein gaye teh 
itni, ki mauka hee nahi milaa dono ko, 
ki karein koi SANGSODHAN. 
Bahut saalon baad dekhe jab 
tumhari khubsoorat TASVEER; 
phir se wahi khubsoorti 
banaa diya mujhko VEER; 
Ehsaas huyi hain humko ke jab dil pe 
laagti hain koi pyar ki TEER; 
koi baaney Ranjha, 
toh koi baaney HEER. 
Chahey kitni bhi 
puraani ho yeh PYAR; 
kabhi na kabhi karti hain 
dil mein WAAR. 
Wine acchi hoti hain, 
jitni ho woh 
bottle PURAANI; 
bahut dino baad tumhari tasveer dekhi, 
toh laagti ho jaise koi saltanat 
ki khubsoorat RANI."- Arindam Sain

ABHI BHI EK AATANKWALA SHABD HAIN YEH 'ATM'; DISCOUNT DENE WALE APPS SE DARR BHI LAAGEY, CHAAHEY JITNI BHI KAHO TUM LOG, KI 'KARO PAYTM' !!!!

"Aajkal toh jish app mein 
jyaada discount MILAA; 
hamare Hindusthan ki nayi peedi 
wahi app download karne CHALAA. 
Ek toh gaaon ka graahak 
fake phone calls 
mein sab kuch detey hain BOL; 
aur ATM card se naa jaane kahaan kaahan 
chalein jaatey woh bachat khaatey 
ke kuch paise ANMOL. 
Ek taraf jab hum IT infrastructure 
aur sarbastariya digitization ki 
karte hain BAATEIN; 
toh phir Cyber Criminals ko uchit sabak 
shikayiye, taah ki grahaak o ki neend haraam 
naa ho aur chain se kaatein RAATEIN. 
ATM mein rupiya 
uthaaney gaye, naa niklaa 
koi bhi rupiya, par bachat khaata se 
paisa ho gaya DEBIT; 
aab woh graahak pareshaan toh hoga hee, 
aur kabhi kabhi toh 72 ghantey ke baad 
wohi paisa uske bachat khata mein 
hoti hain CREDIT. 
Darr kaa maahol 
itni hain ki abhi bhi ek 
aatankwala shabd hain yeh, 'ATM'; 
bhai humko bhi toh darr laage itni discount 
dene wale apps se, jitni bhi kaho tum log, 
ke 'karo PAYTM'"- Arindam Sain

Saturday, September 7, 2019

BAASH KUCH HEE RAHEIN GAYI THI DOORI; PAR YEH 'CHANDRAAYAN PROJECT' NAA RAHEGI ADHURI !!!

"Baash kuch hee 
rahein gayi thi DOORI; 
par yeh 'Chandraayan Project' naa 
rahegi kabhi ADHURI. 
Arrey Sivan Saheb aur unki team 
ke baiggyanik o, mat ro, mat RO; 
kyon ki sadiyon se ish Bharat desh 
ki shaan hain yeh 'ISRO'. 
Kyon, thik apni gantabya se kuch hee 
kilometres ki doori par yeh 'Vikram' se 
satellite ka sampark hain TUTI; 
'Koi toh hain' ush Chaand mein, 
yeh kahaani nahi bhi 
ho sakti hain JHOOTI. 
Hamaare pyare 
Chanda mama ke 
paas ghumney gayi hain 
'Vikram' aur 'PRAGYAN'; 
joh log ish mein bhi rajneeti khojte hain, 
unhe humlog bataa dete hain, ki garv hain 
humein ki itni unnati ki hain 
yeh Bharatiya BIGGYAN. 
Aaj 'Prithvi' ki jo hain yeh 
vartaman kharab STHITHI; 
ekdin 'Chand' aur 'Mangal' mein naya 
ghar banaane ki aayegi PARISTHITHI. 
Koi bhi baiggyanik jab koi naya cheez ko 
khojta hain, poore dil se khojta hain, isiliye 
unh logon ki khoj par naa karein 
koi bhi rajnaitik TIPPANI; 
desh ki ek rajya ki janata ne ek kursi 
par baithne diya hain, iska matlab 
yeh nahi, ki kuch bhi bologi 
aur karogi SHAITANI; 
duniya ke bibhinna deshon ki baiggyanik 
issi khoj mein lagaa huya hain ke, 
kisi bhi tarah 'Chaand' aur 'Mangal' 
mein mil jaaye PAANI. 
Joh log 'Biggyan' aur 'Baiggyanik' o ki 
kadar aur samman deta hain aur aagey 
badhne ki utsaah detaa hain, 
woh log hee hain asli 'ADHUNIK'; 
ekdin aisa aayega, jab Bharaitya log 'Chaand' 
aur 'Mangal' mein apni 'Space City' 
banaayengey aur 'Space Tourism' business 
bhi chalegi ekdum THIK."- Arindam Sain

KONO EK RAJYA R NAAM CHILO, 'SUNDI'; SEYI RAJYA R RAJKUMARI KE BIYE KORE KI SEYI RAJYA R RAJA HOTEY PAARBE EI ANDY !!!

"Shono shono, shono boli, 
ekti ajob lok er KATHA; 
chotobela e, kato ee naa porlo prem e, 
kato ee naa pelo BYATHA. 
Forsaa cheley, gaal folaa folaa, meyegulo 
taake dekheyi bolto, 'Ki misti cheley, 
jano ekti Sugar CANDY'; 
meyeder proti taar bhalobasha, 
taar hriday teyi roito chaapa, 
peroto na je seyi GANDI. 
Taai toh jutlo naa 'Karishma', 
'Kareena' r mato meye, 
emon ki 'KALINDI'. 
Odikey dheerey dheerey seyi saishab er 
ektarfa prem er premika der hoy galo biye, 
dui haath e lagiye MEHENDI. 
Etodin galo ketey, ebaar ki tobey 
hotey chaaye se BIBAHITO; 
boyesh niye ki esey jaaye, buro boyeshey 
biye hocchey aajkaal ANABAROTO. 
Biye r laddoo 
naa khele o muskil, 
abaar kheley o hoy boiki 
katorakam er HOYRAANI; 
taai toh praacheen yug e o, mon mejaaj 
bhalo raakhtey, Raja raa mrigaya r naam 
korey, bonbhojon e jeten, rajprasad e 
rekhey diye taader RANI; 
ekhan abosyo meye ra ektu holey o bujhtey 
shikhechey, samay anujaayi roop badlaaye, 
kakhan o mon e hoy Mahishasurmardini, 
toh kakhano MONMOHINI. 
Baari thekey deowaa naam, 
taar laaglo naa bhalo, taai style korey 
nijer naam raakhlo se, 'ANDY'; 
asafal prem er hotasha e bhooghey, ei nirav 
premik niyomito suraa paan korey hoyeche 
fulko luchi, neyi je aar seyi roga BHEENDI. 
Esechey taar moddhey 
ektu adhtu ukeel 
ukeel BHAABH; 
Sohini, Rohini, Mohini, ke acho 
kothay, dhorey ei Andy r haath, 
thik karo er SWABABH. 
Kono ek kaalponik 
rajya r naam chilo, 'SUNDI'; 
seyi rajya r Rajkumari ke biye kore ki seyi rajya 
r Raja hotey paarbe ei ANDY."- Arindam Sain

PUBLIC SECTOR BANKS OF INDIA MUST FOLLOW '5-5-5 THEORY' TO CREATE AN INTERNATIONAL BRAND !!!

"Mergers based on 
same CBS software 
platforms will make the 
merger process more SPEEDY. 
After the 2nd Quarter of FY 2019-20, 
the system integration must start to 
make the staffs of all merged banks 
fully prepared and READY. 
Training costs and infrastructure costs 
have been saved as the mergers 
are based on same 
CBS software PLATFORMS. 
Passbooks, loan documents and logo 
of all branches must be changed 
rapidly within December 2019 
as per banking NORMS. 
In all PSBs, 
there will be 5 zones; 
North, East, Central, 
South and WEST. 
Each 5 zones headed by Regional General 
Manager (RGM) will have 5 FGM offices 
each with 5 Field General Managers (FGM) 
and each FGM having 5 big Currency CHEST. 
Any substaff has 
to work in 5 different 
branches in his LIFETIME. 
Any clerk has to be posted in branches of 
at least 5 districts and after 55 years 
of age, can take VRS ANYTIME. 
Any officer will get transferred after 
15 months in any Branch and 
has to be posted in branches of 
at least 5 different STATES. 
Rural to Urban to Metro and then again 
Rural; this cycle of posting 
to be followed with 
different HRA RATES. 
All FGM offices in India under 
respective FGM to have 
5 Zonal Offices EACH. 
All Zonal Offices to have 5 District Level 
Controlling Office (DLCO), so that 
any branch does not remain out of REACH. 
Each Branch to have 
at least 5 EMPLOYEES. 
Employees of the Top 5 ranked branches of 
each zone will get the 'Performance FEES'. 
CBS software to be more user FRIENDLY; 
to create a brand GLOBALLY."- Arindam Sain

Sunday, September 1, 2019

MERGERS AND MONETARY INFUSION IN PUBLIC SECTOR BANKS WILL HELP TO TAP INTERNATIONAL MARKETS TO BOOST THE INDIAN ECONOMY !!!

"By 31st March 2022, 
there should not be any Public Sector 
Bank in India with less than 
10 lakhs crore BUSINESS. 
At any cost, to boost the Indian economy 
in this competitive fights of the globalized 
arena, the 'mergers and aquisitions' will 
continue in special CASES. 
Be it Airtel, BSNL, Idea or Reliance Jio, 
we don't care; we just to see that each and 
every Indian will have internet access 
in his/her smartphone HANDSET. 
Each and every Indian with an AADHAAR 
Card number must have a SIM Card on 
his/her name and that SIM Card 
is a long term ASSET. 
In this age of digitization, several banking 
apps and digital products are surely 
going to transform your mobile phone 
into an e-wallet (Electronic WALLET). 
Mergers of PSB Banks 
have been conducted based on 
CBS software technology PLATFORM. 
From 12 to 8, from 8 to 4, that is, by 2025, 
there will be only 4 PSB Banks and the Indian 
Banking system will completely TRANSFORM. 
You may ask, why such a merger; but, you 
never asked what is the need of having 
branches of 19 Nationalized Banks in 
big market AREAS. 
More the branches of several Banks, 
more the defaulters, and hence Bank 
employees are still waiting to get 
their Bipartite Settlement ARREARS. 
After the mergers, quality of NPA recovery 
will automatically improve and 
also the KYC QUALITY. 
Number of branches to be reduced 
with increased staff strength in any 
rural area, urban area or CITY. 
Only officers to be 
recruited in PSB Banks 
from now on with a minimum 
graduate degree having 50% marks 
throughout his academic TENURE. 
There will be no clerical posts, as PO will 
act as Cash Officer also, local faithful 
persons to be recruited as substaffs; 
ex-servicemen as security guards and 
preference to be given to provide business 
loans to any local reputed ENTREPRENEUR. 
In any Public Sector Bank, 
the HR PYRAMID 
must look like a pyramid only; 
by restricting too many promotions 
at a time at the higher levels 
in a Financial YEAR. 
Apply 'Pareto Principle' type policy, where 
40% of top management people till Scale-III 
to have 60% of total salary expenses and 60% 
of lower rank people (Scale-II to Substaffs) 
will have 40% of total salary expenses 
with a motivating CAREER. 
Any Savings Account cannot be opened 
without producing ITR-V form 
or Income Certificate 
from Panchayat or 
Municipal CORPORATION. 
UIDAI and NSDL server is linked with CBS 
server to check how many savings account a 
person has and a 5th savings account of that 
person cannot be opened even after 
valid KYC documents PRESENTATION. 
Current Account will 
become dormant and Drawing Power in 
CC or OD account cannot 
be given in CBS system without producing 
latest Trade License renewal Challan 
every year in respective BRANCHES. 
CIBIL and CRIF servers to be linked to CBS 
software with yearly subscriptions to allow 
the Bankers to automatically check the 
Credit Score by doing Customer ID enquiry 
only to disallow any defaulter to play 
the game of high level CHESS. 
The power to seal or capture any 
mortgaged property 
under 'SARFAESI Act' to be 
withdrawn from any 
District MAGISTRATE. 
After 120 days of the notice, the officials 
under 'FATF' and 'ED' will acquire the 
property directly and then may showcause 
the DM about why he/she acted 
against the 'SARFAESI Act' so LATE. 
If a loan becomes NPA, 
then that customer ID and 
all its accounts will become dormant 
till that customer repays 
back the entire money or goes for 
One Time SETTLEMENT. 
Relending and Restructuring will not be 
allowed in any NPA customer's Customer ID 
and after compromise of the NPA, for next 
10 years, no loan account can be opened 
in that customer ID by any 
PSB's Administrative MANAGEMENT. 
As after the mergers of PSBs and 
monetary infusion in it, 
the Indian Economy is 
going to improve AGAIN; 
and the Indian PSBs competing with the 
global banks will be able to tap 
international markets too which 
will be a huge GAIN."- Arindam Sain

HAR DIN EK JUNG LARH RAHEIN HAIN MAIN AUR MERE BANK KE KARMCHAARI; KYON KI HAR BANK MEIN, NPA KA SAMASYA HAIN BAHUT HEE GEHERI !!!!

"Jo cheez khubsoorat ho, woh laagti 
hain humko bade hee PYAARI;
har pal yeh banking kaa kaam 
nahi laagti hain itni bhi SUNEHRI;
baash apne hee dil ko khush karne ke 
liye kabhi kabhi likhte hain SHAYARI; 
par naa koi ajooba hain hum, aur naa 
hee aati hain hum ko koi AIYAARI. 
Dil toh abhi bhi baccha hee hain, 
naa baane hain BYAPAARI; 
graahak o ke mitra hain hum, 
aur pasand naa kartein hain koi bhi 
'Nirav Modi' jaisa BHRASTHACHAARI; 
har Bank mein 
NPA ka samasya hain 
bahut hee GEHERI; 
NPA ko ghataaney ke liye ek jung har din 
larh rahein hain main aur mere Bank 
ke KARMACHAARI."- Arindam Sain